One should start to fulfill the obligation of commanding the right and forbidding the wrong from himself; because it is impossible for the preachers who neglect themselves to become successful. Next comes the close relatives. Those who would like to make their call universally heard should comply with the rule of gradualism. They have to pass the circles around them one by one when preaching their message. For example, someone’s neighbors and relatives would accept his teachings more easily than those who are not close to him. When the relatives and neighbors of those who accept the invitation are considered, it can be clearly perceived that by this method Islam can spread much more easily in the society. If someone’s relatives do not support and help him, other people would find it difficulty to trust and believe in his message.
On the other hand, one also needs his relatives’ help in order to achieve success in his mission. This fact is emphasized in the Qur’an as follows:
“They said: O Shu’aib much of what you say we do not understand, in fact among us we see that you had no strength were it not for your family, we should certainly have stoned you; for you had among us no great position.” (Hud 11; 91)
When Lot (A.S.) became helpless in the face of the perversion of his people, he perceived the absence of his relatives to help him and said:
“Would that I had the power to resist you or that I could betake myself to some powerful support.” (Hud 11; 80)
After mentioning Lot’s (A.S.) words, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) made the following explanation:
“May Allah have mercy upon Lot. He was taking refuge in a very strong support (His Lord)… As a blessing of his supplication Allah bestowed upon all the prophets after him relatives to support them.” (Ibn Hibban, XIV, 86)
On the other hand, Islam attaches special significance to maintaining and strengthening relations with relatives. Keeping in touch with relatives (Sila-i Rahm) is considered one of the greatest virtuous deeds. One is primarily responsible for himself and his relatives. Allah the Exalted states in the Qur’an:
“…Blood-relations among each other have closer personal ties, in the Decree of Allah. Than (the Brotherhood of) Believers and Muhajirs…” (al-Ahzab 33; 6)
Allah’s Messenger (pbuh), who gave priority to charity and to helping those whom he was responsible for, also began from his relatives to awaken in them religious sentiment, which is more important. Allah the Almighty commands to protect ourselves and our relatives from the Hell fire in the Qur’an:
“O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones…” (al-Tahrim 66; 6)
In order to achieve this goal a Muslim should not cut his relation with his family even if they are against him or they are not very religious people. He should visit them as much as possible and keep his connections with them alive. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said that:
“One who severs the tie of kinship would not enter Paradise.” (Muslim, Birr, 19)
Those who preach about Islam should show similar closeness to their neighbors, with whom they are always together. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) was even concerned about his non-Muslim neighbors and visited them when they were sick.
A young Jewish boy used to serve the Prophet and when he became sick, the Prophet went to visit him. He sat near his head and asked him to embrace Islam. The boy looked at his father, who was sitting there; the latter told him:
“Obey Abu al-Qasim” and the boy embraced Islam. The Prophet came out saying:
“Praises be to Allah Who saved the boy from the Hell-fire.” (Bukhari, Janaiz, 80)
Thus a Muslim preacher should follow the prophetic customs and improve his relations with his close relatives even if they adhere to some false beliefs and incorrect actions. He should consider all means and take advantage of every opportunity in order to achieve his goal. We see this approach in the life of our beloved Prophet (pbuh). Ali (r.a.) said that:
“When the verse “And admonish thy nearest Kinsmen.” (al-Shuara 26; 214) was revealed, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) called me and said:
“O Ali! Allah the Almighty commanded me to warn my nearest kinsmen. This made me worried. I know that whenever I try to tell them about my mission, I will face some unpleasant treatment. This is why I kept quiet for a while. Upon which Gabriel (A.S.) came to me and said:
“O Muhammad! If you do not fulfill what you are commanded, your Lord will punish you.” O Ali! Prepare for us a meal and put some lamb meat in it. Also bring some milk in a cup. Then invite Abdul al-Muttalib’s clan so that I can talk to them and convey to them the message that I have been ordered to.”
Ali (r.a.) prepared the things that the Prophet (pbuh) had ordered and offered them to the guests. When Abu Lahab saw that such a small amount of food, which could only be enough for one person, satisfied forty people’s hunger, he said:
“It is amazing. Your friend enchanted you with a great spell. Indeed we have never seen such a spell in our lives.” He did not give the Prophet (pbuh) the opportunity to speak and everybody left.
Abu Lahab’s words hurt the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) so much that he stayed quiet and did not speak in that gathering at all. (Ibn Hanbal, I, 159; Ibn Athir, al-Kamil, II, 62; Ibn Kathir, al-Bidayah, III, 88-89; Yaqubi, II, 27)
However, he never stopped conducting his mission, ignoring all the obstacles he faced along the way. The very next day, after the above mentioned incident, he gathered his relatives together again and told them:
“All praises are due to Allah. I praise Him and ask help from Him. I believe in Him and trust in Him. I bear witness that there is no god but Allah. He is One and Only. He has no partners and there is none like Him. Of course, one who was sent to look for pasture would come back and tell a lie to his relatives. By Allah even if I tell lies to everybody in this world I would not do that to you. Even if I deceive all the people in this world, I could not deceive you. Allah is such a God that there is no god save Him.
By Allah you will die like going into a sleep. You will be resurrected like waking up from a sleep and be questioned for everything that you have done. You will see the reward for your good deeds and be punished for your evil deeds. The result of this is to live forever in Paradise or in Hell. You are the first people whom I warn.
O sons of Abdul al-Muttalib! By Allah I do not know anybody amongst the Arabs who brought something more superior to this world and the Hereafter than the thing that I have brought to you. I invite you to two words which are easy on the tongue but heavy on the balance of the Hereafter: to proclaim that there is no god but Allah and I am His servant and His Messenger. Allah the Almighty has commanded me to invite you to this.
O sons of Abdul al-Muttalib! I am sent as a Prophet to the whole of humanity in general and to you in particular. You have seen some of the miracles you have never seen before. Would you accept to be my helpers and brothers on my mission and gain Paradise in return? Which one of you would pledge allegiance to me?”
Not only did everybody refuse the Prophet’s invitation but they also laughed and scoffed at him. And then they left. (Ibn Hanbal, I, 159; Ibn Sa’d, I, 187; Haythami, VIII, 302; Baladhuri, I, 119)
Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) continued to warn his relatives. He did not pay attention to their mockery and insults. One day he (pbuh) set off until he climbed Safa hill and called the tribes of Quraish loudly:
“Be on your guard!” They said:
“Who is it calling out load?” They said:
“Muhammad.” They gathered round him, and he said:
“If I were to inform you that there were horsemen emerging out of the foot of this mountain, would you believe me?” They said:
“We have not experienced any lie from you.” He said:
“Well, I am a warner to you before a severe torment. Allah the Almighty ordered to me to warn my closest kinsmen. I will be able to help you neither in this world nor in the Hereafter unless you say “There is no god but Allah.”
Abu Lahab then began to curse and shout, and even picked up a rock to throw at him. (Muslim, Iman, 355; Ibn Sa’d, I, 200; Diyarbekri, I, 288) But the Prophet (pbuh) kept preaching Allah’s message and fulfilling his responsibility of prophethood. He called every tribe by its name saying:
“O Bani Abd Munaf! Buy yourselves from Allah; O Bani Abdul-Muttalib! Buy yourselves from Allah; O mother of Az-Zubair bin Al-Awwam, the aunt of Allah’s Apostle, and O Fatima bint Muhammad! Buy yourselves from Allah, for I cannot defend you before Allah. You can ask me from my property as much as you like.” (Bukhari, Manaqib, 13-14; Muslim, Iman, 348-353)
Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) sometimes similarly admonished his close relatives, especially his daughter Fatimah, in the following years. We also know that Fatima’s childhood was spent during the weakest years of Islam when Muslims were oppressed the most. Fatimah (r. anha) had to bear as much hardship as her father and other Muslims were facing. When her father delivered his message to people, she either waited for him out of concern or followed him in order to protect him. One day the Prophet (pbuh) went to the Ka’bah and was talking to people about Islam. However, people did not listen to him and on the contrary attacked him with all kinds of weapons. Fatimah (r. anha), who was watching this scene from a corner, was left horrified and took her bleeding father back home after people left to tend to his wounds.
On another occasion when Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) was prostrated and praying in the mosque, polytheists put camel intestines on his back and made fun of him, Fatimah (r. anha) picked up the intestines and threw them away befor taking her father home. When her mother Khadijah (r. anha) passed away, she helped her father together with her sisters, shared in his sufferings and s feeling his pain. Fatimah (r. anha) cleaned his wounds while Zainab (r.anha) carried water to her. Despite all these hardships Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) began to convey his message to them first and asked them to be prepared for the Hereafter.
Allah’s Apostle (pbuh) started his mission under such hard conditions, and there were only a handful of people amongst his relatives that supported him. Furthermore, there were those amongst his relatives who had not embraced Islam until after the conquest of Mecca, and there were even those who were never honored by Islam. Nevertheless, his mission required him to begin with his relatives and he fulfilled this requirement perfectly.