Bir toplumun, annelerin m\u00e2nev\u00ee h\u00e2llerine g\u00f6re \u015fekillendi\u011fi m\u00e2lumdur. Ma\u00ee\u015fet temini i\u00e7in \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan bir bey, han\u0131m\u0131n\u0131n verdi\u011fi destek ve moralle kazanc\u0131n\u0131 temin edebilir, yine ilim tahs\u00eeline giden bir evlat da annesinin uyar\u0131 ve yard\u0131mlar\u0131 ile ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olabilir. G\u00fcn\u00fcn getirdi\u011fi yorgunluklarla eve d\u00f6nd\u00fcklerinde ise kendilerini kar\u015f\u0131layan g\u00fcler y\u00fcz ve tesell\u00ee p\u0131nar\u0131yla huz\u00fbr bulur ve rahata ererler. Bu ortam sa\u011flanamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 takdirde hay\u00e2t\u0131n ak\u0131\u015f\u0131 sekte yapmaya ba\u015flar. Nitekim Res\u00fblull\u00e2h -sallall\u00e2hu aleyhi ve sellem- Efendimiz\u2019in en b\u00fcy\u00fck yard\u0131mc\u0131s\u0131 da Hz. Hatice v\u00e2lidemiz idi. Sevgili Peygamberimiz, insanlar taraf\u0131ndan yalanlan\u0131p eziyetlere m\u00e2ruz kald\u0131\u011f\u0131, \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fc i\u00e7inde evine d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc g\u00fcnlerde, Y\u00fcce All\u00e2h\u2019\u0131n bir nimeti olarak Hz. Hatice O\u2019nu basiretli s\u00f6zleriyle tesell\u00ee eder, seb\u00e2t\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flar ve vaz\u00eefesini kolayla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. (\u0130bn-i Hi\u015f\u00e2m, es-S\u00eere, I, 259) Hatice annemiz Peygamber Efendimiz i\u00e7in \u0130sl\u00e2m davas\u0131nda s\u00e2d\u0131k bir m\u00fc\u015f\u00e2vir, bir dert orta\u011f\u0131 ve s\u00fck\u00fbnet kayna\u011f\u0131 olmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n
Yine anne, evlatlar\u0131n\u0131 en g\u00fczel \u015fekilde terbiye eder ve hay\u00e2ta haz\u0131rlar. Onlara yeni bir yuva kurman\u0131n s\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131, \u00e2ile i\u00e7inde ve insanlar aras\u0131nda ya\u015faman\u0131n kurallar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011fretir. Rabia kabilesinden Avf bin Mahlem<\/b>\u2019in zevcesi olan \u00dcm\u00e2me bint-i H\u00e2ris<\/b>, k\u0131z\u0131 \u00dcn\u00e2s<\/b>\u2019\u0131 Kinde krallar\u0131ndan H\u00e2ris bin Amr<\/b> ile evlendirirken ona \u015f\u00f6yle nasihat etmi\u015ftir:<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2012Bak yavrum! Bir kimseye nasihat ve tavsiye, e\u011fer o kimsenin edebine, terbiyesine, as\u00e2letine ve haysiyetine bak\u0131larak terkedilmi\u015f olsayd\u0131 benim de \u015fimdi sana tavsiyelerde bulunmama ihtiya\u00e7 olmazd\u0131. L\u00e2kin tavsiye, bilene hat\u0131rlatma, bilmeyene anlatma demek oldu\u011fundan herkes i\u00e7in faydal\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n
K\u0131z\u0131m! E\u011fer bir k\u0131z, ana-babas\u0131n\u0131n servet ve zenginli\u011finden dolay\u0131 kocaya muhta\u00e7 olmasayd\u0131 senin herkesten ziy\u00e2de m\u00fcsta\u011fn\u00ee olman l\u00e2z\u0131m gelirdi. Fakat \u00f6yle olmay\u0131p erkekler bizim i\u00e7in yarat\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi biz de onlar i\u00e7in yarat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f\u0131zd\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Ey k\u0131z\u0131m! Sen ana-baban\u0131n evinden, b\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcp y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn yuvadan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p bilmedi\u011fin ve \u015fimdiye kadar al\u0131\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n bir adam\u0131n evine gidiyorsun. \u0130mdi o kimsenin r\u0131zas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zetip hizmet\u00e7isi gibi kendisine itaat eyle ki o da sana kul k\u00f6le olsun, seni sevsin ve ho\u015fnut olman i\u00e7in gereken her \u015feyi yaps\u0131n. Sana \u015fimdi 10 \u015fey s\u00f6yleyece\u011fim. Onlar\u0131 ezberle ve gere\u011fince hareket eyle ki kocanla g\u00fczel ge\u00e7inmeye muvaffak olas\u0131n.<\/p>\n
1. Sana yiyecek ve giyecek her ne getirirse onu c\u00e2n\u0131 g\u00f6n\u00fclden kabul etmelisin.<\/p>\n
2. Emretti\u011fi \u015feyleri yapmal\u0131, yasaklay\u0131p yapma dedi\u011fi \u015feyleri yapmamal\u0131s\u0131n. S\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc dinleyip kendisine itaat etmelisin.<\/p>\n
3. Evini ve \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 temiz tutmaya dikkat etmelisin.<\/p>\n
4. G\u00f6r\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde veya kokusu al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131nda ho\u015flan\u0131lmayacak olan \u015feylerden ka\u00e7\u0131nmal\u0131s\u0131n ki kendinden i\u011frendirip g\u00f6z\u00fcnden d\u00fc\u015fmeyesin.<\/p>\n
5, 6. Uyuyaca\u011f\u0131, yemek yiyece\u011fi vakitleri iyi t\u00e2kip etmelisin. Yani bunlar\u0131 hangi vakitte yapmay\u0131 al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131k h\u00e2line getirmi\u015fse o vakitleri g\u00f6zetip yeme\u011fini ve yata\u011f\u0131n\u0131 haz\u0131r etmelisin. Zira a\u00e7l\u0131k insan\u0131 ate\u015flendirir, uykusuzluk da \u00f6fkelendirir.<\/p>\n
7. Kocan\u0131n mal\u0131n\u0131 muh\u00e2faza ile israf ve teleften korumal\u0131s\u0131n.<\/p>\n
8. Kocan\u0131n itibar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zetip akraba taalluk\u00e2t\u0131na ri\u00e2yet etmelisin.<\/p>\n
9. Hi\u00e7bir \u015feyde ona isyan ve muh\u00e2lefet etmemelisin.<\/p>\n
10. S\u0131rr\u0131n\u0131 kimseye if\u015f\u00e2 etmemelisin. E\u011fer emrine isyan edersen kendine kin ba\u011flat\u0131rs\u0131n, s\u0131rr\u0131n\u0131 if\u015f\u00e2 edersen gadir ve cef\u00e2s\u0131ndan emin olamazs\u0131n.<\/p>\n
K\u0131z\u0131m sak\u0131n ola ki kocan kederli iken yan\u0131nda ferahl\u0131 durmayas\u0131n, onun ferah ve ne\u015feli vaktinde de keder g\u00f6stermeyesin! (Mehmed Zihn\u00ee Efendi, Me\u015fhur Kad\u0131nlar<\/i>, I, 52-53)<\/p>\n
\u0130\u015fte faz\u00eeletli bir annenin g\u00fczel bir yuvan\u0131n temeline koydu\u011fu k\u00f6\u015fe ta\u015flar\u0131! Bu tavsiyeler \u00fczerine kurulan bir \u00e2ile sa\u011flam ve karakterli nesillerin m\u00fcjdecisi olur. Bu nedenle ecd\u00e2d\u0131m\u0131z bu hususlar\u0131 d\u00e2ima g\u00f6z \u00f6n\u00fcnde bulundurmu\u015flar ve evlatlar\u0131na t\u00e2lim etmi\u015flerdir. Nitekim Osmanl\u0131 ulem\u00e2s\u0131ndan Sa\u00eed Efendi<\/b>, bu on nasihati esas alarak kad\u0131nl\u0131k \u00e2d\u00e2b\u0131, \u00e7ocuk terbiyesi ve evlilik haklar\u0131 konusunda Vaz\u00e2ifu\u2019l-\u0130n\u00e2s<\/i> (Kad\u0131nlar\u0131n Vaz\u00eefeleri) isminde bir eser meydana getirmi\u015ftir.<\/p>\n
Di\u011fer taraftan o\u011flunu evlendiren annelerin de evl\u00e2d\u0131na sunaca\u011f\u0131 hayat iksirleri vard\u0131r. Bir \u00e2ile reisinin en g\u00fczel ahl\u00e2kla yeti\u015ftirilmesi gerekmektedir. Sabr\u0131, seb\u00e2t\u0131, azmi, g\u00fczel mu\u00e2meleyi, g\u00f6n\u00fcl k\u0131rmamay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmelidir. O\u011flunun huzurlu bir hayat s\u00fcrmesini isteyen tecr\u00fcbeli bir annenin \u015fu hik\u00e2yesi ne kadar ibretlidir:<\/p>\n
A\u015f\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131yla \u00fcn yapm\u0131\u015f ya\u015fl\u0131 bir kad\u0131n, ak\u015fam yeme\u011fine gelecek o\u011flu ve yeni gelini i\u00e7in yine mutfa\u011fa kapanm\u0131\u015f, yemek yap\u0131yordu. Ayn\u0131 ak\u015fam yeme\u011fe eski bir aile dostu da davetliydi. Beklenen misafirler gelip sofraya oturduklar\u0131nda \u00e7ok \u015fa\u015f\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 bir durumda kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131lar. Ya\u015fl\u0131 kad\u0131n\u0131n o gece yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yemekler de\u011fme oburlar\u0131n bile i\u015ftah\u0131n\u0131 kapatacak kadar berbatt\u0131. Tatl\u0131lar un kokuyor, patatesler yanm\u0131\u015f, k\u00f6fteler ise nerdeyse pi\u015fmemi\u015fti. O\u011flu, yeni gelini ve aile dostu kad\u0131na durumu fark ettirmemek i\u00e7in ellerinden geleni yapt\u0131larsa da, yemek s\u0131ras\u0131nda pek i\u015ftahl\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcyorlard\u0131. Nihayet yemek bitti ve yeni evli \u00e7ift annelerinin ellerini \u00f6perek evlerine gittiler. Aile dostu, ya\u015fl\u0131 kad\u0131na d\u00f6nerek:<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2012Senin harika bir a\u015f\u00e7\u0131 oldu\u011funu ad\u0131m gibi biliyorum. Bana s\u00f6yler misin, bu gecedeki yemekler neden o kadar k\u00f6t\u00fcyd\u00fc? Bence ya hastas\u0131n ya da bir sorunun var\u201d dedi. Ya\u015fl\u0131 kad\u0131n g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyerek \u015fu faz\u00eelet y\u00fckl\u00fc cevab\u0131 verdi:<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2012Hay\u0131r, hi\u00e7bir \u015feyim yok. Kasten yapt\u0131m. Bundan sonra o\u011flum, annesinin yemeklerini hat\u0131rlayarak asla han\u0131m\u0131n\u0131n kalbini k\u0131ramayacak.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u0130\u015fte faz\u00eeletin zirvesi! \u0130\u015fte bas\u00eeret ve fir\u00e2setin \u015f\u00e2hikas\u0131! Evl\u00e2d\u0131n\u0131n hayr\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnen bir anne ancak b\u00f6yle davranabilir. Ak\u0131l veriyorum zann\u0131yla, \u201cAman o\u011flum! Kad\u0131nlara y\u00fcz vermeye gelmez, daha ilk g\u00fcnden terbiyesini vermelisin.\u201d gibi s\u00f6zlerle onu han\u0131m\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 sert ve kat\u0131 davranmaya te\u015fvik etmez.<\/p>\n
\u0130\u015fte b\u00f6ylesine yeti\u015fmi\u015f ve \u00e2ile terbiyesi alm\u0131\u015f evlatlarla kurulan yuvalar sa\u011flam ve huzurlu olur. Toplumlar\u0131n ba\u015far\u0131 ve geli\u015fmesi de birinci derecede buna ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r. Y\u00fcce All\u00e2h, \u00fclkemize ve b\u00fct\u00fcn insanl\u0131\u011fa b\u00f6yle g\u00fczellikler nas\u00eeb etsin. \u00c2min.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bir toplumun, annelerin m\u00e2nev\u00ee h\u00e2llerine g\u00f6re \u015fekillendi\u011fi m\u00e2lumdur. Ma\u00ee\u015fet temini i\u00e7in \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan bir bey, han\u0131m\u0131n\u0131n verdi\u011fi destek ve moralle kazanc\u0131n\u0131 temin edebilir, yine ilim tahs\u00eeline giden bir evlat da annesinin… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2950","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-makaleler"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3G27m-LA","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kuranvesunnetyolunda.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2950","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kuranvesunnetyolunda.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kuranvesunnetyolunda.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kuranvesunnetyolunda.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kuranvesunnetyolunda.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2950"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.kuranvesunnetyolunda.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2950\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7909,"href":"https:\/\/www.kuranvesunnetyolunda.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2950\/revisions\/7909"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kuranvesunnetyolunda.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2950"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kuranvesunnetyolunda.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2950"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kuranvesunnetyolunda.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2950"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}