3. Funeral Preparation and Visiting Graves

a.        Funeral Preparation

“O you who believe! Fear Allah, and let every soul look to what (provision) he has sent forth for the morrow.” Al-Hashr 59; 18

The term tashyi’ means to prepare the dead and take the body to the graveyard after the funeral prayer. This is one of the final duties which needs to be done for a believer. Allah the Almighty promises great rewards for this duty.

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) taught what needs to be done for funeral preparation through his actions. Umm Salama reported:

“The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) came to Abu Salama (as he died). His eyes were fixedly open. He closed them, and then said:

“When the soul is taken away the sight follows it.” Some of the people of his family wept and wailed. So he said:

“Do not supplicate for yourselves anything but good, for angels say “Amin” to what you say.” He then said:

“O Allah, forgive Abu Salama, raise his degree among those who are rightly guided, grant him a successor in his descendants who remain. Forgive us and him, O Lord of the Universe, and make his grave spacious, and grant him light in it.” (Muslim, Janaiz, 7)

Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) suggested the dead to be washed by loyal believers (Ibn Majah, Janaiz, 8) and asked his followers to pay special attention to the dead, to wash and enshroud them nicely. The rewards of those who wash the dead and do not tell their defects to anybody are stated as follows:

“Allah the Almighty will forty times forgive those who wash the dead and do not tell their defects to anybody. He will clothe those who enshroud the dead with the silk clothes of Paradise. He will give rewards to those who dig graves for the dead as much as the rewards that could be given to someone who places a poor in a house till the Judgment Day.” (Hakim, I, 505-506)

Umm Atiyya reported:

“The Apostle of Allah (pbuh) came to us when we were bathing his daughter, and he told us:

“Begin washing her from her right side. Wash her with water and with the leaves of the sidr^[1], three, five, or seven times, or more than that if you think fit, and put camphor or something like camphor in the last washing; then inform me when you have finished.”

We entwined the hair of the dead daughter of the Prophet into three braids. One braid was entwined in front and the other two were entwined on the sides of the head. When we had finished, we informed him, and he gave to us his (own) under-garment and told us to shroud her in it.^[2] (Bukhari, Janaiz, 9, 13, 17; Muslim, Janaiz, 36; Ibn Sa’d, VIII, 34-36)

It is very important to bid our farewell to the dead by going with him till the graveyard, by praying for his soul, and by bearing a positive testimony about him; for Allah the Almighty will treat him in accordance with such testimonies.

It was narrated by Anas bin Malik (r.a.):

“When the Messenger of Allah was with some of his companions a funeral procession passed and the people praised the deceased. The Prophet said,

“It has been affirmed to him.” Then another funeral procession passed and the people spoke badly of the deceased. The Prophet said,

“It has been affirmed to him.” Umar bin Al-Khattab (r.a.) asked Allah’s Apostle (pbuh):

“What has been affirmed?” He replied,

“You praised this, so Paradise has been affirmed to him; and you spoke badly of this, so Hell has been affirmed to him; because you, believers, are Allah’s witnesses on earth.” (Bukhari, Janaiz, 86; Muslim, Janaiz, 60)

It is a reality that people would not easily agree upon praising or speaking badly about a person. This is why we should remember this and act accordingly to make others praise us after we die.

After preparing the body, believers pray to Allah, perform the funeral prayer, say their praises to the Messenger of Allah (pbuh), and ask for forgiveness for the dead. This is a means of mercy for the dead. This is why one should hope that many people will be present at his funeral and pray for him. Awf b. Malik reported that Allah’s Messenger would attend to the funeral prayers and say supplications for the dead as follows:

“Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) led a funeral prayer. Just then I heard him saying the following supplication:

“O Allah! Forgive him, have mercy upon him, give him peace and absolve him. Receive him with honor and make his grave spacious; wash him with water, snow and hail. Cleanse him from faults as You would cleanse a white garment from impurity. Requite him with an abode more excellent than his abode, with a family better than his family, and with a mate better than his mate. Admit him to the Garden, and protect him from the torment of the grave and the torment of the Fire.” When I heard this wonderful supplication, I earnestly desired that I were that dead body. (Muslim, Janaiz, 85)

Allah’s Apostle said,

“(A believer) who accompanies the funeral procession of a Muslim out of sincere faith and who hopes to attain Allah’s reward and remains with it till the funeral prayer is offered and the burial ceremonies are over, he will return with a reward of two ‘qirats’. Each ‘qirat’ is like the size of the (Mount) Uhud. He who offers the funeral prayer only and returns before the burial will return with the reward of one ‘qirat’ only.” (Bukhari, Iman, 35)

Sa’d b. Abi Waqqas reported on the authority of his father that while he was sitting along with Abdullah b. Umar, Khabbab b. Arat, the owner of Maqsura, came and said:

“O Ibn Umar, have you heard what Abu Huraira says?” And then he narrated the following tradition:

 “Abu Huraira heard the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) say:

“He who goes out with the bier when taken out from its residence and offers prayer for it and he then follows it till it is buried, he would have two ‘qirats’ of reward, each ‘qirat’ being equivalent to Uhud; and he who, after having offered prayer, (directly) goes back would have his reward (as great) as Uhud”

Ibn Umar (r. anhuma) sent Khabbab to Aisha (r. anha) in order to ask her about the words of Abu Huraira and also told him to come back to him (Ibn Umar) and inform him what Aisha said. (In the meanwhile,) Ibn Umar took up a handful of pebbles and turned them over in his hand till the messenger (Khabbab) came back to him and told (him) that Aisha testified (the statement of) Abu Huraira. Ibn Umar threw the pebbles he had in his hand on the ground and then said:

“We missed a large number of qirats.” (Muslim, Janaiz, 56)

It is recommended that one should carry a casket for ten steps holding each handle thus for the total of forty steps. Carrying the casket for more steps makes the carrier earn more spiritual rewards. The coffin should be carried first from the right side front handle and next right back handle and then from the front and back left handles. Hurrying up with the funeral ceremony is also among the suggestions of the Prophet (pbuh) (Bukhari, Janaiz, 51); because it is not advisable that the corpse of a Muslim should remain withheld among his family. (Abu Dawud, Janaiz, 34)

Coffins should be carried quiescently. When Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) saw people carrying a coffin in haste, he told them “Carry it quiescently.” (Ibn Majah, Janaiz, 15)

Those who follow the funeral procession should avoid unnecessary talks and lower their voices. Even loud remembrances of Allah and recitation of the Qur’an are not considered appropriate. One should contemplate about death and the afterlife.

If it is possible, people should not be on rides. It is considered objectionable to on a ride if it is possible to walk. According to the Thawban’s (r.a.) report, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) attended a funeral. He saw some people on rides, in order to state the disrespectfulness of this action, he said that:

“Aren’t you ashamed? You go on rides while Allah’s angels are on foot.” (Tirmidhi, Janaiz, 28)

The Prophet said, “Whenever you see a funeral procession, stand up till the procession goes ahead of you.” In another version of the tradition it was stated that, “Till the coffin leaves you behind or is put down.” (Bukhari, Janaiz, 47-48)

b.        Visiting Cemeteries

Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) had temporarily forbidden visiting graves, at the time when people were still prostrating before the graves and using them as means of pride and worshipping the idols. Later Jews and Christians turned the graves of their saints into places of worship. Idolatry, too, had begun by showing respect to prominent figures’ graves and statues, and in time they were changed into idols; whereas, Islam’s goal is to place the belief in the unity and oneness of Allah the Almighty into the hearts. After this goal had been achieved, the prohibition of visiting cemeteries had been abolished. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said that:

“I forbade you to visit graves, but you may now visit them.” (Muslim, Janaiz, 106)

And the Prophet’s saying, “…Those who wish to visit graves may do so; for visiting graves reminds us of the Hereafter,” (Tirmidhi, Janaiz, 60) emphasizes that the object of visiting cemeteries is to remember the afterlife and be prepared for it.

Visiting the graves of righteous people, parent, and the graves of the close relatives are accepted as recommended (mandub) acts.^[3] Visiting graves is recommended for men. It is also permitted for women provided that they do not wail, do not show excessive respect towards the graves, and do not tear their clothes up. Hence, the Prophet (pbuh) advised patience to a woman who was crying over her son’s grave, but he did not forbid her to visit. (Bukhari, Janaiz, 7; Muslim, Janaiz, 15) There is also another report that Aisha (r. anha) visited her brother Abdurrahman b. Abi Bakr’s grave. (Tirmidhi, Janaiz, 61)

Ali (r.a.) expressed his concern about the afterlife addressing the dead in a cemetery as follows:

“The houses you left are now occupied by others

Your property is already shared

Others married with your wives

This is what is happening on our side

I wish we could know what is happening on your side

By Allah, if they were allowed to speak, they would say

“…but the best of provisions is right conduct (fear of Allah)…” (al-Baqarah 2; 197) (Ibn Abdilbarr, al-Iqd al-Farid, III, 236-37)

There are great benefits in visiting the graves of righteous people and the graves of the religiously prominent figures. Such visits are allowed provided that one acts consciously, attains necessary lessons, and does not take false creeds during the visit. One day Marwan (r.a.) saw a man who placed his face upon the Prophet’s (pbuh) grave. He thought this was an un-Islamic deed. He took the man by his collar and said:

“What do you think you are doing?” When the man turned his face, Marwan recognized that he was Abu Ayyub al-Ansari (r.a.). When Abu Ayyub (r.a.) saw that Marwan (r.a.) was concerned about the lawfulness of his act, he told him:

“Yes, I know what I am doing. I came to the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) not to his grave stone. I heard the Prophet (pbuh) saying that:

“Do not be worried as long as your religious affairs are taken care of by qualified people. However when unqualified people begin to interfere with them, then you have every right to get worried and cry for the religion.” (Ibn Hanbal, V, 422)

What we understand from Abu Ayyub’s (r.a.) response is that visiting graves is permissible as long as it is done consciously and according to its manners; because this is beneficial both for the visitor and the visited. These benefits can be summarized as follows:

– Visiting graves reminds people of death and the Hereafter, leads them to piety and righteousness, and enables them to attain lessons from it. Those who think about death perform their acts of worship more sincerely. They lose their ambition towards this world, avoid unlawful acts, turn to do righteous deeds, and pay more attention to getting prepared for the afterlife.

“Aisha (r. anha) said that a Jewess came to her and mentioned the punishment that takes place in the grave, saying to her,

“May Allah protect you from the punishment of the grave.” Aisha then asked Allah’s Apostle about the punishment of the grave. He said,

“Yes, (there is) punishment in the grave.” Aisha added, “After that I never saw Allah’s Apostle but seeking refuge with Allah from the punishment in the grave in every prayer he prayed.” (Bukhari, Janaiz, 87; Muslim, Masajid, 123; Nasai, Janaiz, 115)

Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said that:

“When one of you finishes the recitation of ‘tahiyyat’ at the end of his prayer, he/she should say that:

اَللّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ عَذَابِ جَهَنَّمَ وَمِنْ عَذَابِ الْقَبْرِ وَمِنْ فِتْنَةِ الْمَحْيَا وَالْمَمَاتِ وَمِنْ شَرِّ فِتْنَةِ الْمَسِيحِ الدَّجَّالِ

“O Allah! I seek refuge with You from the torment of the grave, and I seek refuge with You from the trial of the Masih al-Dajjal (Antichrist) and I seek refuge with You from the trial of life and death.” (Muslim, Masajid, 128; See also Muslim Masajid, 130-134; Abu Dawud, Salat, 149, 179; Nasai, Sahv, 64)

Uthman (r.a.) would cry till his beard got wet when he stood by the graves. When he was told:

“You do not cry when you remember Paradise and Hell; but you cry when you remember the grave” he replied:

“Because I heard Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) saying:

“The grave is the first station of the Hereafter. If someone passes it, the following stations will be easier. If he cannot pass it, the rest will be much harder and harsher… None of the scenes I have seen was more fearful and gruesome than the grave.” (Tirmidhi, Zuhd, 5/2308; Ahmad b. Hanbal, I, 63-64)

Bara (r.a.) narrated:

“We were with the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) in a funeral. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) sat by the grave and began to cry so much that the earth got wet from his tears. And then he said that:

“O Brothers! Get well prepared for the death which everyone will experience.” (Ibn Majah, Zuhd, 19)

Before the prophet Dhu’l Qarnain (pbuh) passed away, he made the following exemplary will for the future generations:

“Wash and enshroud my body. And then place me in a coffin. Just leave my arms hanging outside the coffin. Let my servants come behind me. Load my treasures upon asses so that people can see that I had a magnificent kingdom and wealth in this world; but I left everything behind and I am leaving this world with nothing. All my servants and treasures are staying in this world. Thus they would not be deceived by this lying and temporary world…”

His will was carried out exactly. Muslim scholars interpreted this will as follows:

“I ruled the East and West with the armies following me. I had countless soldiers and servants in my service. None of them went against my orders. The entire world was under my command. I had limitless treasures. But all the blessings of this world are temporary. Just like you see I leave this world and go to my grave empty handed… Possessions of this world stay in this world… You should do the deeds beneficial for the Hereafter… (Osman Nûri Topbaş, Nebîler Silsilesi, II, 17)

– Visiting the graves of righteous peoples, especially the Prophet’s (pbuh) grave, gives the souls relief and makes people feel lofty feelings. Setting off on a journey to visit the Prophet’s grave and the graves of the friends of Allah is recommended (mandub). Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said that, “whoever visits me after my death my intercession will be required for him.” (Bayhaqi, al-Sunan al-Kubra, V, 245)

– Visiting graves strengthens people’s ties with their culture and history. Graves of the prominent figures of history provide a bridge between young generations and their history. The spiritual atmosphere here plays an important role in keeping the religious life robust. The most typical example of this is the cities of central Asia, such as Samarkand and Bukhara, which were under the rule of communist regime for many years.

Visiting graves is also useful for the dead.

– After visiting graves people pray for the salvation, forgiveness, and eternal happiness of the dead. They recite the Qur’an and ask Allah to accept the spiritual rewards of their deeds to be written for the dead. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) stated that:

“When one of you dies, take him to his grave right away. When you bury him, the person waiting at the side of his head should recite the chapter Fatiha (chapter 1) and the person waiting at the side of his feet should recite the last verses from the chapter al-Baqara (chapter 2.) (Tabari, XII, 340; Daylami, I, 284; Haythami, III, 44)

“…Chapter Yasin is like the heart of the Qur’an. Whoever reads it hoping for Allah’s content and the abode of the afterlife, his sins will certainly be forgiven. Recite the chapter Yasin to your deceased.” (Ibn Hanbal, V, 26)

Ala’ b. Lajlaj narrated that his father Lajlaj, who was one of the companions of the Prophet (pbuh) made the following will at the time of his death:

“When you put me into my grave, say “بِسْمِ اللهِ وَ عَلَى سُنَّةِ رَسُولِ اللهِ” (In the name of Allah and upon the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah)^[4] and throw earth upon my body. Recite the beginning and last verses of the chapter al-Baqara at my grave. Of course I witnessed that Abdullah b. Umar (r. anhuma) had deemed this practice appropriate.” (Bayhaqi, al-Sunan al-Kubra, IV, 56)

Amr b. al-As said when he was about to die: “…When you bury me, fill my grave well with earth, then stand around it for the time within which a camel is slaughtered and its meat is distributed so that I may enjoy your intimacy and in your company ascertain what answer I can give to the messengers (angels) of Allah.” (Muslim, Iman, 192)

Nawawi, who mentioned this narration in his book, reported the following words of Imam Shafii:

“Reciting chapters and verses from the Qur’an is a recommended act in Islam. Reciting the entire Qur’an is better.” (Nawawi, Riyadh al-Salihin, p. 293)

Recitation of the Qur’an is an offering for the dead. It is also confirmed by the authentic traditions of the Prophet (pbuh) and by the consensus of the scholars that the spiritual rewards of the good deeds performed on behalf of the dead will reach him. (Muwatta, Itq, 13-14; Muslim, Siyam, 155-156; Ibn Hanbal, II, 509; VI, 252) This is also supported by the following verse:

“…Our Lord! Forgive us, and our brethren who came before us into the Faith, and leave not, in our hearts, rancor (or sense of injury) against those who have believed. Our Lord! You art indeed Full of Kindness, Most Merciful.” (al-Hasr 59; 10)

Another tradition in this context was narrated by Ibn Abbas (r. anhuma):

“The mother of Sa’d bin Ubada died in his absence. Sa’d came to the Prophet (pbuh) and said,

“O Allah’s Apostle! My mother died in my absence; will it be of any benefit for her if I give charity on her behalf?” The Prophet said,

“Yes,” Sa’d said,

“I make you a witness that I donated my garden called Al-Makhraf in charity on her behalf.” (Bukhari, Wasaya, 15)

– Planting trees on the gravesite is also a nice thing to do. Plants and trees planted in the graveyards help to reduce the punishment of the dead. (Muslim, Taharah, 111) Ottomans would plant sycamore trees in the yards of institutions and cypress trees in the graveyards. The reason of these choices was that the sycamore tree loses its leaves, and thus is a reminder of death and temporariness; whereas, the cypress is evergreen and it represents the eternity of the afterlife. These practices also helped to protect the environment.

– Sending wreathes to funerals is something objectionable in Islam. The wreath, which is a symbol of the Ancient Greek and Christian world, does not contain any benefit to the dead. It is also a manifestation of resembling non-believers, which is strongly prohibited in Islam. In addition, a lot of money is spent on making a wreath and many flowers are destroyed in the process. Thus, a wreath is a waste and Islam prohibits being wasteful.

Clapping at funeral ceremonies is another objectionable custom of the contemporary world. Such a behavior does not fit into the spiritual atmosphere of the funeral. In this regard, Allah the Almighty reprimands the unbelievers in the Qur’an as follows:

“And their worship at the (holy) House is naught but whistling and hand-clapping…” (al-Anfal 8; 35)

c.         Manners of Visiting Cemeteries

– When the visitor arrives at the graveyard, he/she turns his/her face to the graves and greets them as taught by the Messenger of Allah (pbuh):

اَلسَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ دَارَ قَوْمٍ مُؤْمِنِينَ وَاِنَّا اِنْ شَاءَ اللهُ بِكُمْ لاَحِقُونَ. أَسْأَلُ اللهَ لَنَا وَلَكُمُ الْعَافِيَةَ

“Peace be upon you! The abode of the believing people and we, if Allah so wills, are about to join you.” (Muslim, Taharah, 39; Janaiz, 104)

– One should pray for the dead and think about how one day he/she will join them. He/she should approach the graves and turn his/her face to the grave like there is someone alive in it and they will talk. If one is not sick, one should stay standing. If the dead was someone close to him/her, he/she should get very close to the grave; and if was not, he/she should keep some distance between him and the grave and pray.

– Performing ritual prayer in the graveyards and turning them into mosques is a disapproved action. Performing prayer towards a grave is also not accepted in Islam.

– Placing and lighting candles by the graves are not permitted. (Muwatta, Janaiz, 12-13)

– Sitting on the graves and stepping over them are not permitted. (Muslim, Janaiz, 98)

– One should stay away from talking inappropriate and useless matters in the graveyard. He/she should also avoid walking arrogantly and should act humbly. (Nasai, Janaiz, 100)

– Relieving oneself in the graveyards is forbidden.

– Cutting trees and green plants in the graveyard is disapproved.

– Slaughtering animals next to the graves is objectionable even if it is done for Allah. It is strongly prohibited, if it is done for the dead. There are some scholars who consider this as accepting partners to Allah; because slaughtering animals is an act of worship and acts of worship are done only for Allah the Almighty.

– Circumambulation around the graves, like circumambulating around the Ka’bah, is not permitted.

– Asking for help from the dead and tying strings and pieces of clothes to the grave in order to receive help from the dead are not allowed in Islam and have no benefit to anybody. The body in the grave could not even help himself let alone helping others. However, when asking for something from Allah the Almighty, asking for it for the sake of righteous servants of Allah and visiting their graves is permitted. For instance, it is allowed to say “O Lord! Please grant me my wishes for the sake of Your Messenger, I pray to You with Your Messenger” (Tirmidhi, Daawat, 118; Ibn Hanbal, IV, 138)

An interesting example of this is follows:

 After the death of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) a severe drought in Medina occurred. People came to Aisha (r. anha) and complained. Aisha (r. anha) told them:

“Go to the Prophet’s grave and open a window on the roof of it so that there would be nothing between Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) and the skies.”

After the people fulfilled her advice, rain poured down, everywhere got green, and camels got fat. That year was even called “’am al-fatk – year of abundance.” (Darimi, Muqaddimah, 15)

– It is more rewarding to visit graves especially on Fridays or Thursdays and Saturdays. However, one may visit graves on other days, too.

– It is permitted to visit graves at nights. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) went to the cemetery of Jannat al-Baqi and prayed. (Muslim, Taharah, 39; Janaiz, 104)